Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Heaven Here

Have you ever been to a magical bluebell forest?




There is one in Stirling, Scotland, if you'd so care to go. Saturday was the most amazing day in the existence of all the cosmos. Should anyone want to replicate such a day, here's the recipe:

Start with a very dodgy orange bus:

Don't let the man in the kilt scare you, his name is Donald and he's oh so friendly.

Next, add the coastal town of Queensbury. This is an essential step that can't be skipped. Why? So all the asian tourists can get off and take pictures of the bridge. 
Oh yeah... and me too. 

Next step, return to the bus where you will be enchanted by stories of William Wallace and his dashing escapades. Try to forget that William Wallace was not a highlander, but really a middle-class intellectual from Glasgow. Don't worry, the real Scottish superheroes come later.

Add just a pinch of inspiration, but don't overdo it. And get off and tour the sites where William Wallace somehow discovered blue body paint.

is that too much?

Then throw in a generous amount of pure Scottish glory



The result should look very green at this point

Add hairy "coo" (cow, for those of you who don't speak Scot) to taste. 
Let them do most of the tasting, actually. For those of you who wondered, 
hairy coos are particularly fond of white bread.

Get back on that bus, because Donald has some stories to tell you. Today you get to learn all about Rob Roy! The original mobsta gangsta with a fresh side of red hair! Rob Roy stole cattle from all his neighbors then promised he'd stop only if they paid him. What a lad!

When your day has boiled over from straight up awesomeness, be sure to sprinkle in the Monty Python Castle, and your most favorite person in all the land.
With bonus hairy coo hats!

Finish by pairing the end of the world (that's right, ladies and gentlemen, Rapture has arrived) with the World's End Pub.
The lovely English boy who offered to take our picture got too excited when we told him it was the end of the world and there was a bar right there... hence he couldn't wait for us to smile.

but we really were there

Garnish with shots of Smirnoff! It's the end of the world after all! Just kidding... but really. That's what everyone else was doing.
And there you have it! The makings of a perfect day! But, don't try this at home. Perfect day is best made in entirely unfamiliar surroundings :)

Love,














Alisse. After the end of the world.










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